Unlike the other stories in the Legacy Collection, I didn’t write “Authority” for one of Professor Williams’ fiction writing classes. This one actually came out of an English class and predates many of the others. It went through many revisions while I was still a student. The more I practiced my craft, the more I wanted to come back to this story.

I wrote “Authority” before Professor Williams’ disdain for genre fiction got to me. Before I was afraid to put in too many speculative fiction elements or pay too much attention to worldbuilding.

Thinking about the feedback my manuscript has gotten in recent years, I think those fears stuck with me for a long time.

The story comes from the same days when I planned a dieselpunk desert pirate story for NaNoWriMo. Back when I still wanted to use short story assignments to get to know my main character. Paired with the other pieces in the Legacy Collection that are set in this world, the chronological order would be:

1. “Jailbird”
2. “The Second Story on Her Arm”
3. “Authority”
4. “Blood for Blood”

The earlier versions of this story referenced the tattoos the character received in “The Second Story on Her Arm.” It also mentioned the fictional city the bounty hunters in “Blood for Blood” were from. In the longer narrative I never wrote, these characters all came together for an adventure across the shifting sands of the Wastes.

Over the years, I cut these references. I thought “Authority” was my strongest piece of fiction from my student years. Maybe because it was never tainted by Professor Williams’ critique. I went back over and over, refining and trying to make it publish-worthy. The version I’m sharing here is the last revision before I abandoned it.

At the end of my college years, I had to put together my final writing portfolio. The one I would use to try to get a Real Capital W Writer Job. It was so important, there was a whole required class just to fine-tune our portfolio.

Fiction didn’t have much of a place in my portfolio.

I wanted so badly to include “Authority,” but I was advised not to. Employers wouldn’t care about my short stories unless they’d been published. So the only work of fiction in my portfolio was “A Rose of Success.” The rest: personal essays, journalism articles, and some documents from my public relations internship.

While critiquing my classmates’ portfolios, a deep sense of regret took over me. Some of them had several publishing credits, including fiction. No genre fiction among them. Even though a different professor (one of my favorites) taught our portfolio class, I couldn’t help but start to believe that Professor Williams might have been right.

I looked at all the short stories I wrote that weren’t good enough for my portfolio. Stories that weren’t good enough for someone else to decide they were publish-worthy. I wanted so badly to prove that voice in my head wrong.

So I self-published some of them as free eBooks. Then I gathered some scathing reviews that called my writing worthless even as free content. Someone on Amazon wished it was possible to give a zero-star rating because even one star was too generous for the likes of me.

So I unpublished them. They still exist out there somewhere, I’m sure. I’ve gotten Google alerts that told me they were found on pirated book sites.

“Authority” was never among them. I truly believed someone would publish it. But it only gained rejections and I couldn’t afford infinite submission fees. Three years after I earned my writing degree, I tucked the story into a folder with all my old school work and let it rot.

Themes in the Story

“Authority” dips into a few themes without going too deep: sexism, respect, power dynamics, and the consequences of assumption. As the lone female crewmate on a desert pirate ship, the main character struggles with gaining the respect of the rest of the crew. She’s been protected by the captain until now, when she’s forced to be the highest authority on the ship. When the crew ignores a basic, common-sense order from her, she decides to make a dramatic example out of one of them.

I didn’t want to write a story about a woman proving she deserves a place she already has. Instead, I focused on her ability to enforce consequences. To punish.

Inspiration From Other Works

For this story, I closely examined one of my favorite scenes in The Thirteenth Warrior. As Prince Wigliff (Anders T. Andersen) spreads whispers that Buliwyf (Vladimir Kulich) means to take King Hrothgar’s (Sven Wollter) throne rather than help fight off the Wendol, Buliwyf and Herger (Dennis Storhøi) decide to give the prince a warning. Herger picks a fight with Angus, a much larger and younger warrior who answers to the prince. Their “engineering dispute” will be resolved in a duel.

Prince Wigliff delights in watching Herger, who plays up the role of the older, slower warrior, break all three of his shields during the fight. Herger drops to his knees in surrender and the prince gives the signal to execute him. Before the sword falls on him, Herger swiftly rises and decapitates the other warrior, sending a satisfying splash of blood across Wigliff’s face.

After the fight, Ahmed (Antonio Banderas) confronts Herger:

Ahmed: “You! You could have killed him at will?”

Herger: “Yes?”

Ahmed: “Well, why the deception?”

Herger: “Deception is the point! Any fool can calculate strength. That one [Wigliff] has been doing it since we arrived. Now he has to calculate what he can’t see.”

Ahmed: “And fear… what he doesn’t know.”

Buliwyf: “As you say, foolish. And expensive. We will miss Angus tonight. We will miss his sword.”

I thought about how often women are judged by their physical strength, regardless of what it has to do with the situation. We shouldn’t do this and that because, as a gender, we’re just weaker. No other consideration needed.

In “Authority,” I let the main character’s anger at facing that judgment come through with major restraint. Yes, she can kill any of the dissenters at will. She lets her opponent believe his fantasy that he can crush her without a second thought—at first. Then she leaves the crew to fear what other kinds of pain and humiliation she can put them through if they continue to disobey her.

How I Feel Reading the Story Now

There’s a reason I chose “Authority” to close out the Legacy Collection, even though it’s the first story I wrote.

Reading and writing this story makes me feel empowered. It’s a piece I wrote before I had a chorus of voices in my head, filling me with doubt. It’s the truest expression of the kind of storytelling I dreamed of dedicating my life to.

I wanted to write fantasy adventures featuring women who were smart, strong, resilient, driven, angry, and unsatisfied. Women who used whatever they have at their disposal to effect change in their lives, whether that means busting noses or masterminding schemes. And I wanted them to fight for what they want even when they have to fight alone.

When I read this story now, it reminds me to stop comparing myself to others and chasing validation.

There’s no professor to write for anymore. I can write what I want, how I want. How many publishing credits I have doesn’t determine whether or not I’m really a fiction writer. Writing makes me a writer.

Set the Mood

If you like creative add-ons to fully immerse yourself in a story, I have some suggestions. While I didn’t necessarily have these on hand when I wrote the story, they’ve definitely enhanced my experience rereading them.

Soundtrack

When I wrote this story, I was probably listening to a movie or video game soundtrack. (Video game combat music is great to play on loop when you have to spend hours on a fight scene that lasts minutes.) But to go along with the reading experience, I recommend two songs:

• “Madeline” by Kiki Rockwell
• “White Flag” by Bishop Briggs

Thematically, “Madeline” matches this story perfectly. The song even begins with the “girl at the front of the line” being refused from joining a ship’s crew because the open seas, like other places mentioned in the song, are “no place for a lady.”

As great a match as it is, “Madeline” doesn’t have the intensity to align with a fight scene. Fortunately, “White Flag” carries that intensity and echoes the mood of resilience and grit.

Scenttrack

It would be amazing if I could recommend a fantasy-themed candle to evoke hot desert air, smoking coal furnaces, and the salt of the crew’s sweat dripping on the ship’s deck. Sadly, that combination of scents isn’t in any of the candle jars in my stash. But I have high hopes for one I hope to try out soon: Hithmari High Desert from Cantrip Candles. (Note: not an affiliate link. Just sharing cool fantasy candles.)

The scent description includes top notes of sage, ozone, and cactus. Mid notes are aloe vera and sand. Cedar and musk make the base.

It sounds intriguing and very different from my go-to candles for adventures. When I get the chance to try it, I’ll update this section with some notes on how well it pairs with my story.