What about sharing personal struggles on business social media?

Recently I came across an Instagram post about personal struggles by another entrepreneur in the digital marketing space that bothered me. She described another unnamed entrepreneur who took a break from marketing to deal with some personal stuff that made doing business as usual a challenge. That person chose to share they had been going through a hard time and appreciated everyone’s patience while they got things back on track. And then she criticized that person for not sharing with their audience what they were going through as it was actively going on. As both an average human consumer of internet content and a person in the digital marketing space, that opinion disgusted me.

There is a lot of fuss for entrepreneurs to share that juicy behind-the-scenes content and show vulnerability:

“People connect more with people who don’t act like everything is perfect all the time.”

“Your audience wants to know you’re human, going through the same struggles they are.”

“They don’t just want your content, they want you!”

Of course, they add you don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing. But at least one of them doesn’t fully believe that. This leads me to believe we need more people in this space talking about our boundaries on sharing personal struggles as entrepreneurs trying to market ourselves.

The Internet is Not a Safe Space for Everyone

Many of us struggle to maintain a presence on social media because it proves over and over that it’s not a safe or welcoming space for all of us. It takes a lot of mental fortitude to deal with the nasty people out there — even if you deal with them by hiding or deleting comments, banning trolls, or not responding. It’s exhausting trying to show up in a space where you constantly have to be on the defensive.

This also includes those well-meaning individuals offering unsolicited advice. How many times have you skimmed through the comments on a post and seen someone coming in with real big “you’re only struggling with this because you’re not handling it this way” energy? Reddit is exhausting to read for exactly that reason.

It’s no secret, either. Before you put anything on the internet, you have to come to terms with the fact you risk judgment. Many people shrug and say, “You need a thicker skin to be here. Otherwise, you should leave.”

I say set your boundaries on what you’re willing to share and what you’re willing to tolerate.

My Personal Struggles Stay Personal

For the last few months, I took a somewhat unexpected hiatus from just about everything. Somewhat unexpected because I knew I was going to have to downsize my workload a lot, but I thought I could keep going. Instead, I spent about three and a half months alternating between sleeping in my bed and napping on the couch. Simple thing, like brushing my teeth put me out of breath. I didn’t open social media for a solid month. I definitely didn’t water my plants.

I managed one vague post on my business Instagram to tell people I was first overwhelmed with work and then dealing with medical issues. No other details. Only a handful of people got to know what was going on. Of that handful, only three got the full scope of how I was doing both physically and emotionally.

It’s normal for us to be careful about what details we share with specific people in our lives. That doesn’t change just because we have to act like a brand to market our creative work.

While I maybe could have mustered the energy to make a few posts here and there to show some of what was happening, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to show up feeling so much worse than my best. Also, I didn’t have the energy to deal with any follow-up from anything I posted. The best move for me was to prioritize my well-being, not my business.

Boundaries for Sharing and Responding

Almost all of us can decide our boundaries on what we do and don’t feel comfortable sharing fairly easily. Some things — like personal struggles with illness or grief — might be absolutely off-limits. Others, we want to build up to sharing. But what about boundaries on the kinds of responses you tolerate?

Most bigger businesses create community guidelines they post on their website. These guidelines outline rules including your policy on comment moderation and banning disruptive accounts. But a lot of small businesses and solopreneurs don’t create their own community guidelines. As a result, they feel powerless. The idea of deleting or hiding comments that aren’t spam or outright harmful can feel wrong.

Remember, you have to treat your social media presence like a business would. And a business has no problem kicking out troublemakers whether they’re in person or online.

Establishing your own community guidelines is a great step toward feeling more in control of your social media space. It also helps make your space feel safer when you and your audience have clear expectations of what behavior will have consequences.